What Makes Me Happy

Throughout these posts, I have mostly been looking at some sources of happiness as it pertains to all humans collectively. Now on a more individual note, I will share some of the things that make me happy and why they make me happy. It being the season of giving and all around general holiday cheer, I think this is very appropriate because I am very thankful for all of these things that make me happy. 1) My 3 best friends, Anthony, Amanda, and Jacob: it's not just the jokes that we share, it's their mere existence and companionship, the fact that I have a network of people who I know care for me. These are people that I can trust, that I know will always have my back even if we do not see eye to eye at all points in life. These people also make me happy because we think some of the same thoughts, and enjoy some of the same things. Even though I only have 3 of them, it is not quantity but rather quality that counts, they are a driving force in my life that keep me going when I want to give up. I have learned in my short existence that not all people are for you, but in fact some are against you and are just using you for their amusement or other selfish gains. These are 3 people that I know in my heart are not like that, and I hope to have in my life as long as I shall live. 2) My freedom and independence: this is a multidimensional facet of my life. Not only do I have freedom and certain rights because I am an American citizen, but I am also happy because I have that freedom as an African American citizen living in this time period. There were many like me that came before me who, because of hatred and oppression, were not afforded the same opportunities as me; and I am happy to be born when I was and where I was. Also, being away from home (my father's house) makes me happy. College affords me with freedoms and independence the likes of which I thought I would never see. In fact, as I am rising on the bus right now headed back to campus, I don't even care how long it will take (coming from New York) because I am happy just to be out of that house. In summation, the things in life that make me the happiest are companionship, and freedom (the freedom to make choices as I see fit, and not be persuaded or coerced into making choices I do not want). These two things stem from intrinsic desires as well as values; and it should come as no surprise that relationships and activities that are freely chosen make people the happiest. It is what I value about my best friends and the freedoms that I have that makes me happy. 3) Values that align with my own make me happy. Now that I have shared, it's time to ask you the important question, (the reason this blog exists). What makes YOU happy?

Marriage

This is sure to be a controversial topic, as I am torn on my own opinion. Is marriage a factor that leads to happiness? Some would suggest that marriage is; others would contend that it is something that inevitably leads to dissatisfaction and discontentment for the two involved and destroys what could have otherwise been a "perfect" long lasting romantic relationship. The reason I am torn is because I can come up with a logical argument for both sides. In one light, it is only natural to believe that marriage will lead to happiness. In fact, a report from Michigan State suggests that marriage may make people happier. Human companionship is one of our psychological needs. We weren't created to be alone, we naturally desire the company of others and most of us love attention if from no other than but one special person. Marriage is the ultimate form of human companionship, especially if you are married to someone you consider your "best" friend. In the other light, being with someone for long periods of time can become boring and listless. Take, for example, staying at a friend’s house for two weeks. For the first couple nights or so you have a great time, enjoying every moment of it. Then as the days roll on you start to get irritated with little things your friend does or says and you have less fun than you did at the beginning of your stay. You may become bored if all you do is stay in the house all day and play the same games or watch the same shows. Marriage, even longstanding romantic relationships, can have the same kind of dull patches that last even longer. However in a marriage you are legally bound to each other and leaving can cause more trouble than it’s worth, so you wind up staying in a marriage that you no longer want to be in. That is in no way conducive to happiness. I can see both sides of the spectrum, and I am not sure which one would end up winning out.Some people do not want to get married for the very reason I stated; they believe that once they "get used" to each other, they will get bored and be stuck in the relationship. What do you think? Does marriage lead to happiness? If it does, is it only temporary?

Positive Psychology

Expanding on the article entitled What Makes People Happy from Prevention Magazine that I posted in my discussion post for the week; I present to you the idea of Positive Psychology. Penn State's (where this field of study was founded) website states that positive psychology is the scientific study of the strengths and virtues that enable individuals and communities to thrive. The field is founded on the belief that people want to lead meaningful and fulfilling lives, to cultivate what is best within them, and to enhance their experiences of love, work, and play. This, my friends, is the science of happiness. It is a whole field devoted to finding out what makes people happy and I am surprised I did not come across this in my initial research for my two papers!  The field of positive psychology suggests that since happiness is a science, it can be manipulated and manufactured, as you are in fact the one in control of it. Essentially it is what I have been saying this whole time. You are the only one responsible for your own happiness. It can't be brought on by external things. The article mentions 3 routes to happiness: living a pleasant life, an engaged life, or a meaningful life, but only you can decide what defines this for you.  Living a pleasant life would be living one that is full of things you enjoy. If you enjoy reading ling books on a Sunday evening then that would be living the pleasant life for you. Living an engaged life would be living one that is full of activities (sort of similar to the activity theory that I highlighted in my first paper). Living a meaningful life would be living one where you feel accomplished. Living a life where you feel like you have impacted someone in a positive way. Volunteering would be one way of accomplishing this or having a meaningful relationship (friendship or otherwise). Is it possible that one or all of these combined is actually the equation for happiness? Proponents of positive psychology believe so. 

The American Heart Association's Heart Walk (DC 2013)

Just a few moments ago I asked my girlfriend what I should write about for my blog post today. I told her the topics, "How is leisure connected to happiness?" and "What makes people happy?”; and she told me to write about the Heart Walk she, myself, and her sister participated in yesterday.  As I was thinking about it, I told her I didn't think the walk itself was something that contributed to my happiness; however the social aspect of the experience did. She had a different personal opinion; she said that the walk as well as the social aspect both directly contributed to her happiness. This is a prime example of the argument that I made in my second paper; satisfying conscious or unconscious personal needs and desires is what makes one happy. My girlfriend lives an extremely healthy lifestyle and it is one of her top desires in life to be as physically fit as possible. While I do consider fitness important, it is not an intrinsically rewarding desire, as it is for her. In other words, I do not necessarily gain happiness from the mere participation in fitness related activities as she does.  Fitness for me is more extrinsically rewarding and therefore my happiness cannot be derived from participation in such an activity as walking. I would have to see results such as weight loss. Completing the walk itself was a goal that led to her happiness because her goal was participation and her desire was intrinsic. I had no goals in mind while participating.  I only reaped the extrinsic reward of spending time with her and her sister. While the event made both of us happy, it made us happy for different reasons.  This goes to show that participation in activities will only produce happiness so long as the desires and or needs for that person are being met. Would participating in a Heart Walk make you happy? Follow the link for the American Heart Association’s Heart Walk and find out.

Taboo Forms of Recreation

Sometimes the activities that make people happy are not things that others would consider socially acceptable, moral, ethical, or even legal. In one of the courses that I am taking we were assigned to read a chapter from our book entitled "Taboo Recreation.” My textbook defines taboo recreation as "pastimes that are forbidden by law, custom, or belief...examples are vandalism, gambling, substance abuse..." . These activities may include risky behavior, or indulgence in things that a majority of people deem inappropriate as dictated by social custom (taboo). Some people may not even view these activities to be forms of recreation, however, if there is one thing I have learned in my stint here at George Mason, it is that recreation and leisure mean different things to different people across various cultures, time periods, and contexts. These are things that people do in their free time that make them happy. Are these things really inappropriate or should people lighten up and try to absorb others’ points of view? After all, some activities that are considered taboo do provide a plethora of people with happiness and are not destructive or harmful to anyone; if they are harmful those activities only harm the people who partake in them. Smoking marijuana, for example, is an activity that can be considered taboo recreation when used for recreational purposes; the reason being that use of the substance has been illegal for nearly 77 years. Why it is illegal evades me; nonetheless, because of its legality status and all of the negative connotations that come along with it, it is seen in our society as taboo.  Who is a marijuana smoker, whom in the privacy of his own home and whilst not harming anyone, hurting by partaking in a form of leisure that makes him happy? Why is it considered wrong? It is hardly dangerous, and for all intents and purposes, marijuana could even enhance his quality of life if he were suffering from a medical condition as noted in an article by Dr. Sanjay Gupta entitled, "Why I changed my mind on weed".  I am aware that some of the leisure activities that fall into the category of "taboo recreation" are dangerous and harmful, but as for the ones that do not harm others, they are only considered taboo because of what society at large thinks about them and not necessarily because they are wrong.